Guillaume's Testimony, "Recovering from Christianity"
Man, even the word "testimony" still sounds bad to me.
I am myself "recovering from christianity" and I think it was really hard to take a stand, get out of the church and start thinking by myself. I was always told that people who did that were "rebelious" and filled with anger against the church and against God. I thought that people only left the church because they were frustrated, and then lived a meaningless life filled with guilt and sorrow.
I am moving in two weeks with the woman of my dreams, an atheist, and feel deeply happy for the first time in my life. For the first time I can experience true love, not as the utopia presented by the pentecostal church but as a day-by-day relationship with highs and lows, but mostly intense happiness.
I have rediscovered the joys of sex, without the guilt. I have rediscovered the joys of having an unbiased point of view. I can have a beer with a couple of friends, tell a few dirty jokes, and feel good about it. I can also discuss philosophy, and not be on the defensive all the time. I made many friends in the "secular" world, and most of them make any christian sound very shallow in comparison.
I stopped blaming myself when things were wrong and thanking God when they were right. I learned to take credit for my accomplishments and responsibility for my mistakes. I realized I was human, just like 6 billion of us, and was not "chosen" for any special mission, but had to create my own personal destiny.
I do not feel any hatred towards Christians, just a deep, sincere indifference. And, you know what? This way, I feel so much closer to God.
ED BABINSKI: Thanks for visiting the website and for submitting your testimony Guillaume!
Here are some quotations that remind me of what you said at the end of your testimony below:
Let God alone if need be. Methinks, if I loved him more, I should keep him -- I should keep myself, rather -- at a more respectful distance. It is not when I am going to meet him, but when I am just turning away and leaving him alone, that I discover that God is. I say, God. I am not sure that is the name. You will know whom I mean.
Doubt may have "some divinity" about it.
Atheism may be comparatively popular with God himself.
When a pious visitor inquired sweetly, "Henry, have you made your peace with God?" he replied, "We have never quarreled."
- Henry David Thoreau as quoted in Henry David Thoreau: What Manner of Man? By Edward Wagenknecht
Edward T. Babinski